Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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