Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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