also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
