So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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