I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
