I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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