I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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