Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
