Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize