Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize