I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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