Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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