I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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