somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
