I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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