Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize