I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
