after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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