It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
