I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
