White coat. Heels.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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