Plan B is the new Plan A
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
