i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
