i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Vodka?
Forever.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
