2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
