I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
