i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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