It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
