yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
