Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize