apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
