you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
