DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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