is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
