i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
