Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
