Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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