Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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