CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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