...so i touched it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
