Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
