He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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