Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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