Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
