left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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