she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
