I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
