whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Text me some of your sweat
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
