This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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