just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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