She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
