How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
