My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
