So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Drake has all the answers
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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