dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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