Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
