I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
