he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
