As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
