oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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