im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
