A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
high people should be assigned attendants
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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