NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
