Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
