Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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