Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
