so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize