I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
