I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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