So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
